Clipped
by Nausicaa Smith
Summary: Captain Kirk's deepest, darkest fear isn't what you think. Kirk/Spock/McCoy, somewhat cracky.


A/N: This one is super weird, you guys. ID even K what happened here. Too much pumpkin spice in my milkshake, I guess.

It hadn't taken Leonard too long to figure out that James T. Kirk wasn't afraid of much. He'd wondered at the psychology of it in those early days, imagining a lonely adolescent with little parental involvement. Lots of acquaintances but few friends. By the time their graduation had drawn near, he knew the kid would rush headlong into any fight. He'd try any new drink, he'd race motorcycles in the busy streets of San Francisco, he'd break into the zoo half a mile from the Academy and drunkenly antagonize the kangaroos (which were surprisingly vicious).

After Leonard had gained access to Jim's medical records he knew that the young daredevil had once driven a car off a cliff, had once set himself on fire deliberately, had once started a revolt against a mass murderer and led a bunch of children to survive three months in the wilderness with no food, medical supplies or adult supervision. Ok, that last one had involved wildly extenuating circumstances rather than actual determination to be a hellion, but still. The kid had balls of steel even at thirteen.

As a superior officer Jim was normally calm and collected, fair, clear in setting boundaries and expectations. He knew when to bend the rules, when to ignore them, and how to talk the Admiralty into submission as if they were a super-computer trying to rule over a primitive civilization. He was also a damned adrenaline junkie who would jump off cliffs, chase space parasites off the hull of the _Enterprise_ with an electro-wrench during a routine spacewalk, wrestle Klingons, and eat strange alien foods in spite of his proclivity toward food allergies.

Leonard often complained that Jim was like an overgrown toddler; he had to be the center of attention, and you had to watch him like a hawk because anything new and interesting he found would go straight into his mouth. The truth was that Leonard had a lot of respect for the man Jim Kirk had grown up to be, considering the man that he could have been instead. Most kids in Jim's shoes would have been on the fast track to addiction, prison, and possibly an early death. And hey, Jim wasn't afraid of any of those things.

As a boyfriend (for lack of a better term) Jim wasn't afraid of commitment. In fact he fell into it easily and with what seemed like relief. Spock questioned early on whether Jim would still be tempted by pretty blonde girls, which led to the trio's first argument. As fights went it was barely a blip on the radar, but it seemed to ping some of Jim's insecurities about the relationship and he agreed meekly with whatever the other two asked for a solid month before they convinced him to stand up for himself again. But that wasn't fear, it was merely unfamiliarity with how relationships worked. Fights would happen, and then they would end, and Jim would get used to it. Everything was fine.

So, considering all the things that he knew Jim was not afraid of, the one thing that he admitted to being afraid of had seemed bizarre.

It was... nail clippers.

Yes, nail clippers. An item found in the bathroom of every human being in the galaxy; harmless, efficient, necessary. It took Leonard a few minutes to process this fact, but once he did, well... Jim was weird enough that the feeling passed. Spock, at the other end of the couch, made no comment.

And it made sense, if Leonard thought back. He had roomed with Jim at the Academy and never seen him clip his nails. He'd berated the kid time and again for biting them, for how unsanitary and uncivilized it was. It had never crossed his mind that Jim didn't actually have any nail clippers. But sleeping with the kid and his sharp, bitten-off nails was uncomfortable and he and Spock felt that they had a right to complain.

After some interrogating, they discovered that Jim would trim his toenails with a pocket knife, but bit his fingernails compulsively. Leonard scowled at him, retrieved a pair of nail clippers from the bathroom behind the Captain's sleeping area, and came back to hand them to Jim while demanding loudly that he cut them before he caught the plague from whatever nastiness was festering under his nails.

But Jim was already out the door, leaving Leonard and Spock staring behind him in bafflement. They discussed it and decided not to go after him. He would come back when he was ready, and he did several hours later after Spock had already dragged Leonard to bed. Jim crawled in between them and explained that when he had been very small his mother had remarried but returned to space, leaving him alone with his stepfather. Leonard had already decided that there was a very special place in Hell for Jim's stepfather, but patiently listened instead of getting riled up.

As punishment for misbehavior or loudness or just general attention-seeking behavior, Jim's stepfather would deliberately clip the child's nails too short, damaging the nail bed and causing weeks worth of pain while the nail grew back over the damaged tissue. Leonard knew from experience, having ripped off a fingernail in a doorjamb once, that having a nail bed torn was a unique and persistent kind of pain. Decades had passed since it had happened, Jim said, and yet no amount of therapy had enabled him to go near a pair of nail clippers.

Which is how they came down to this. Leonard and Spock did not want to wake up in the middle of the night from Jim's jagged fingernails accidentally scratching them, plus Leonard was sure that someday Jim was going to get sick from the unsanitary habit of biting them. So, once a week for the past several weeks Leonard would wait until Jim fell asleep and trim them for him. Of course the kid was annoyed at first, probably felt violated, but ultimately conceded that compromise was how relationships worked at as long as they didn't _wake him up_ while doing it, Leonard and Spock could continue with this solution.

Tonight Jim had fallen asleep on Leonard's belly while Leonard read an article on neural transmitter manipulation that had just been released. Spock, naked for bedtime as always, crawled in beside them and handed the clippers to Leonard, who put down his PADD. Spock never cut his nails, as Vulcan nails wore down at about the same rate of their very slow growth. Leonard secretly thought that this was far superior to the way humans had evolved, but would never say that out loud to their lover. Oh, no.

Trimming the nails themselves was a simple task. Leonard made sure they were nowhere near too short, but they were definitely smooth and even and wouldn't accidentally scratch anyone. Spock rested one hand gently on the Captain's back, monitoring his mental activity lightly so as to alert Leonard in advance if Jim were about to wake. As usual, they were through quickly and Spock returned the clippers to the bathroom cabinet.

Leonard quietly considered painting Jim's nails purple one night as a joke. The truth was that this wasn't sustainable in the long-term, and someday they would have to convince him to do it himself like an adult. Still, it was a weirdly intimate experience. He felt a lot closer to both Jim and Spock afterwards, even more so than after sex or long talks about having too many feels. Spock came back to the bed, called the lights down and proceeded to cuddle them both (although none of them would ever admit that cuddling was what it was.)

"Leonard." Spock whispered, fingers in Jim's hair, cheek on Leonard's shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"I have discovered the address of Jim's stepfather. He still lives in Iowa."

Silence reigned for a minute. Leonard hadn't even considered the possibility that the bastard was still alive, and he knew Jim hadn't had any contact with the man since about the age of seventeen. This was interesting information, but...

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

Spock kissed his shoulder softly, pressing even closer to the two of them.

"I have not yet decided if I will do anything."

Leonard rolled to face Spock, who helped pull Jim up onto a pillow and together they cradled him safe between them. He hummed a little in his sleep, burrowed his face against Leonard's chest and settled down.

"Well, let me know what you decide."

"Very well, Leonard."

"Goodnight, Spock."

"Goodnight."


End file.
